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Ch2 E2: A Thousand Words

Upon returning home, Toasty stumbles upon some disturbing revelations.

Ok ik pride is over but why were you sad about it? Queer people celebrate because weโ€™ve fought decades to be able to. That doesnโ€™t mean you have to be sad. Remember the community also includes parents and friends (although not centered โ€˜round them). I know itโ€™s passed but itโ€™s weird to view equality as โ€œfeeling left outโ€. Feel free to not respond. But I wanted you to know this, cuz I know your heart was never in the wrong place. I just wanted to reach out but didnโ€™t know how to word it this whole month

Hi! I appreciate the ask. Fair warning I’m not great at explaining things like this well, so please be patient with me as I try to explain my thoughts and feelings and stuff. Thanks. โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…


It’s not so much that I “feel left out” of Pride month stuff. It’s not my month, so it shouldn’t really be my concern if I’m included in the celebrations one way or another. I’m really happy that people have been able to find the comfort and peace that they’ve been looking for and that sorta thing. That’s great for them, and you, and not something I’m sad about. โค๏ธ


However, my brain hates me. ๐Ÿ˜ฟ


A lil background on me: I’m a straight cis dude(which might be a surprise to some I guess, lol), who likes to consider himself an Ally, or at least a friend. (I’m not exactly sure what the rules and stuff are with that sorta thing or if Allyship is the sorta thing I can just claim๐Ÿ˜…) Whatever the case, I have a lot of nice friends and family in the LGBTQ+ community and stuff who I love very much. Yet… I’m just a lowly straight dude, who has complicated and often contradictory feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about stuff surrounding the community.

Then the Month of June comes along. To me, Pride month is for the Community. I’m not really part of the community, so they choose how things go with that. I want to respect that, I don’t want to intrude where I don’t belong or am not wanted. I feel like it would be wrong for me as just some guy to take up their social media bandwidth with my straight-boy nonsense. Plus my anxiety makes me worried that showing up on (predominantly LGBTQ+) social media during Pride month as some straight cis guy would make me a target for the not-so-nice people in the broader LGBTQ+ community who may not be as kind as my friends to someone like me.


So TLDR: I’m an anxious wreck, who despite being an Ally/Friend, doesn’t want to bother LGBTQ+ people on their special month, or become a target of someone who may not have kind feelings towards the kind of person they might see me as.(True on not) So I’m stressed the whole month and that makes me sad. (Like I’d never go to an event or something by myself without being invited, cuz scary)


Therefore I hide in my little sad straight boy box until July, and have basically done that every year since Pride Month started… ๐Ÿฅฒ๐Ÿ“ฆ


I’m sorry if things seemed weird or something. I sometimes share too much in my posts, heh, so if that was uncomfortable or something, very sorry. ๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ™ I hope my ramblings has cleared somethings up, but feel free to ask more questions as needed or desired. ๐Ÿ˜…

Commission art for Xyil ! ๐Ÿœ๏ธโœจ

This was a fun little scene to draw. It’s always fun to be able to take some creative liberties and come up with something interesting ๐Ÿ˜Š

I promise this is going to be one of my only posts this month, but I’m just super happy with how this project has been going ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ™

Toasty Fursuit Project Pt 1! ๐Ÿ˜ธโœจ

So I’ve been doing a lot of planning over the past few months, and just a week or so ago I threw together this design document for Toasty’s Fursuit head.

At the time, I had no idea if I was going to try to make it myself or if I was gonna have to risk the slim hope that some maker out there could do Toasty in my style. (Without costing thousands and thousands of dollars ๐Ÿ˜ญ)

Well, I started putting a budget sheet together on how much it would cost me for the materials, and I was immediately shocked by how many hundreds of dollars cheaper it would be to make it myself (where I would have full control over the end result) vs paying someone else to make it (and risking getting nothing I wanted)

So, justifying to myself that working on a physical project for a couple of weeks was more healthy than depressedly doom scrolling on my phone for the rest of the summer, I started getting the materials together.

Now ofc this was not completely cheap. I still had to spend a good chunk to get all the foam, and the dozens of glue sticks I needed, but it was totally worth it imo. Huge thanks to all my friends who have been commissioning me for stuff, so I can fund stupid projects like this ๐Ÿ˜Šโœจ

Cut through the past couple weeks and here’s the progress! A foam base head that actually looks like Toasty and fits my big head! ๐Ÿ˜Š Despite all the stress and self doubt that always comes with a big project like this, it couldn’t have gone together smoother.ย 

I’m definitely gonna have to save a bit more before I fur this bad boy, but that’s for another chapter.ย 

I’m just happy to have my room back now โ€ฆ once I clean up all this mess. ๐Ÿ˜